Sunday, December 20, 2009

painting vs writing, or anything else that matters.


I've been slacking off with regards to this blog. I feel that when I have time to put something worthy here, I end up creating a fantastic mess of what i'm trying to say, and it always devolves into something resembling a summary of an epic. So, whilst I let paint dry (literally) heres some ideas I've had recently since moving to Winnipeg, my hometown (rather, my birthplace, as I feel I'm from not one specific area).
I began a letter to the Winnipeg Free Press days upon my arrival regarding the h1n1 hype. It was going great, I was bringing up valid arguments followed with solutions, then it..well it degraded into me writing ideas for paintings. Here is the letter in all it's unfinished glory:
Editors,
Given the recent and slightly over-rated hype surrounding the H1N1 virus, and this papers' desire to market itself with newsworthy articles, I would like to suggest a moratorium.
Surely there exists news-worthy articles that would provide your readership with relevant info concerning other engaging facts:
-do an article on the merits of tagging and the different brands of spray paints available, explain why certain stores lock those cherished colours away under lock and key. Offer insight into how to overcome societal pressures with interviews with renowned artists such as Banksy, or ones of a more local flavour;
-do away with the two full sections devoted to cars, and in it's place print full-colour pics of scantily-clad very obese men and women. You could introduce the likes and dislikes of Trevor the back-hoe operator or Tracy the single mom who can down an entire 2-liter carton of ice cream and still have room for a pumpkin pie for dessert. By promoting alternative lifestyles would only ensure this papers' edge over the competition. You could even take it further with an article on where one can still smoke in public, or at least sneak one.
-an article on why there isn't any corner stores in the suburbs. due to poor city planning, everything one hopes to do is based around the fact one already has a vehicle. It would be a welcome change to the never-ending-car-review-complex that is wasting valuable real estate.
-discuss the misfortunes of the local couple who won the lottery six years ago, how their rise from the welfare system to utter comfort subsequently destroyed them, and how their own problems with gambling led to their demise. Include ties to respected members of the community, and the sordid drug/orgy parties aboard yachts and such. This could even be a three-part story, if you elaborate on the facts, like the way you do right now.
-provide blank sections where those articles wouldv'e been. Attach pencils with your papers' monogram on them, and suggest to your readership they can write or draw their own interpretations of H1N1, or make stencils of origami boxes, write shopping lists, or even doodle a unicorn. Set it up like a colouring contest, whoever can make the most disgusting looking virus wins a prize--like a subscription, or maybe an origami book!
-have articles that suggest certain things are real (like surround-screen tv's), and then discuss the newer, updated versions. Promote the NEW PS4! All the kids 18-45 will shit themselves, and rush out to wait in line overnight at Future shop.

-a concerned reader.